I just finished reading the subtle art of not giving a fuck for the second time now. I’m going to do a review on that book, if you haven’t read that book best believe you’re sleeping under a rock because that book is the shit, it helps in so many ways, it has helped me to see some certain things in a certain perspective and in regarding to this, today’s post is all about the act of saying NO.
Most people on this earth say yes instead of no which isn’t helping today’s society. Most people say yes because they don’t want to be brutal or they don’t want to make the other party feel bad, you’re doing yourself no good because the negative impact is more than the positive impact.
Saying no is disagreeing or opposing a proposition.
“No, I’m not doing this. ”
“No, I can’t go out with you. ”
“No, I’m busy. ”
“No, I’m not giving you.”
Saying no reduces stress a lot, when you say yes when you actually mean no, it makes you do things that don’t come from your heart, why, because you’re scared of saying no, you feel guilty, you feel you’re going to be responsible for how the person feels but I think we should stop that this 2019, we should learn to put our needs first before others because if they were in your shoes, I’m sure as hell they won’t think twice before saying no, you need to reject somethings else you stand for nothing.
Saying no keeps your dignity and respect intact. People are fund of taking you for granted once you keep saying yes every time (see finish) which is absolutely not fair but well we are humans and some of us are just light hearted and people take these kind of people for fools. Saying no doesn’t make us bad people or rude people most people mistake being blunt and outspoken as being rude which is not meant to be so.
I have this friend who stays in the hostel, each time students from other rooms ask her for something, which could be indomie, water, tooth paste and even perfume, she gives then after she complains, she gives because she feels guilty about them feeling bad, long story short they started collecting her things without permission and never returning them, she ended up losing a lot of things, this could be avoided if only she said NO from the beginning.
If we say yes more often we miss out on a lot of things, most times we don’t do what we want, we always miss out on most things which is bad. We say yes often instead of no because we have low self esteem, we feel that saying yes often will make people come around, truth is we keep deceiving ourselves and end up having a lot of fake friends.
We should understand that we can’t please everyone.
Saying no sets boundaries. Saying no often always set boundaries, people would know you for who you are, they’d know when and how to fuck to with you, they’d know better not to cross your limits, there’s no need to keep being fake because you can’t please everyone.
Remember we have a choice in everything we do and we should learn to choose one we’re good with for our sake.